In the Beginning Was The Bean

 IN THE BEGINNING were the goats, and the goats were with Kaldi, and the goats Were Kaldi's, and Kaldi and the goats were happy wandering the mountains and hills of Ethiopia (or maybe Yemen... we aren't absolutely sure...) and life was slow and languid and easy. Point of fact, life was so slow and so languid and so easy that, yea, verily, Kaldi and his goats were actually pretty bored and becoming rather lazy. But life for Kaldi and his goats didn't require any more energy than was needed to meander to the next good grazing field.
 And lo, it came to pass that in one of these fair grazing fields there grew some trees, trees that bore fruit that was, at that time, unknown to Kaldi (and undoubtedly unknown to the goats...). As Kaldi sat contemplating whatever it is that lazy goat herds contemplate, the goats took a golden opportunity to munch on the fruit of the unknown trees. And it came to pass, as these things do, that the goats began to frolic about - actually they frolicked a lot! And Kaldi watched and marveled at the amazing activity of his normally languid goats. And the more they ate of the fruit of the tree, the more they frolicked, nigh unto the point of dancing. Unwilling to let his goats have all the fun, Kaldi went unto the trees and picked some of the fruit and checked it out. And verily, the fruit seemed to be that of a cherry, but a cherry that was like unto no cherry that Kaldi had ever seen before. And Kaldi ate the cherry, pit and all (a very important point in this narrative) and though the fruit was bitter and (frankly) pretty foul, the pit itself was reasonably palatable. And, more to the point, it seems that the pit itself was the cause of the dancing antics of Kaldi's goats, for the more that Kaldi ate of the pits, the more he felt like dancing... or running or swimming or jumping or hiking or greeting the  morning or commuting or working or doing a term paper or running a staff meeting or driving a truck or golfing or performing surgery or staying up late and partying. And it was good!
 Kaldi had discovered coffee.
 There in the wilds of Ethiopia (or maybe Yemen) and not so many hundreds of years ago, the young goat herd's discovery changed the course of human events in a way that eclipses the discovery and exploitation of petroleum or the splitting of the atom. Monastic communities rose up to decry the evils of coffee drinking, making long pilgrimages to Rome to urge the pope himself ban the use of the Bean only to discover that the pope (himself!) was one of coffee's greatest fans. That fact alone changed Italy into the Mecca's of world wide coffee consumption. (Head anywhere in Italy now and you will experience an espresso bar on every city, town, or village corner.) The Bean spread throughout the Mediterranean and became the focus of an effort and a dream that continues to this day: how to make the absolutely best cup of coffee. The Bean was dried; the Bean was crushed; the Bean was boiled; the Bean was eaten; the Bean was added to cakes and cookies; the Bean was used in cosmetics; the Bean was baked into breads; the Bean was used as currency; the Bean was the crown jewel in a dowry; the Bean was the fair damsel over which armies battled; the Bean was the single most sought after drug throughout the Middle East and carried its rich roasted fame and intensity to the New World where, in Central and South America it would become the single most important crop in the history of humanity. And still it is the world's drug of choice. Americans (North and South Americans all included) consume more coffee than water. Every ethnic group has developed its own special formula for preparing the Bean, and half the fun of the Bean is experiencing all the ways it appears in life!
 Heavenly coffee? Good to the last drop?
 Coffee Rules!

TO SERVE HUMANITY: Grilling The Customer

 Ah, summertime! The great outdoors! Sailing, hiking, in-lining, swimming, camping, biking, and grilling. Yay Grilling! But the Great American Summer Pastime of grilling often takes a decidedly different turn when you make your first few visits to your local coffee emporium. We periodically ask friends why they haven't yet been down to visit our shoppe and the usual response is the same vague and timid response you get from anyone who doesn't actually want to come out and tell you the honest truth. They've been so busy; they really don't drink coffee (even though their spouse comments on their pot and a half a day habit); they aren't sure when we are open; they keep forgetting to swing by; where IS your shoppe, anyway?
 But the truth is (according to recent coffee shoppe converts) they are afraid of the GRILLING. It goes something like this:
(Camera pans in on any local coffee shoppe) Barista: Hi! Can I help you?
Customer: Um, yeah... at least I hope so. I don't really know what I want. (takes long nervous look at the 217 ways coffee is being served in this particular establishment and sighs).
Barista: OK, would you like something hot or cold?
Customer: Right. Hot, I think. Yes. Definitely hot.
Barista: (sipping from an amazingly tiny little coffee mug) Caffeine or not-caffeine?
Customer: Oh, well, caffeine... sure...
Barista: Chocolate or not-chocolate?
Customer: Huh? Well I really like chocolate so, uh yeah, I guess chocolate.
Barista: Great! Would you like the drink made with coffee or tea?
Customer: (stammering) Chocolate and tea? Er, I don't think so. Better make it with coffee.
Barista: (taking another hit from the tiny mug) Super! With Regular coffee, Flavored coffee, or with Espresso?
Customer: (looking nervously over their shoulder at the line beginning to form behind them) Gosh, I've never had expresso before. Isn't that awfully strong?
Barista: (emphasizing the sibilant in the word) Actually eSpresso is somewhat sweet when it is made right. But I can make your drink with Regular or Flavored coffee if you prefer.
Customer: (forcing a smile) No, no... that's OK. I guess I oughta try expresso. I mean, I'm in a coffee shoppe after all. Heh heh heh...
Barista: (beginning to speak noticeably faster) Excellent! Single or double?
Customer: (confused) Well, I'm single, actually. Does that make a difference?
Barista: (taking a final hit from the tiny mug) Oh, no.I mean do you want a single or double shot?
Customer: (markedly more confused) Shot? of what? I'm only 17. I don't drink alcohol.
Barista: (eyes unobtrusively rolling) Sorry, eSpresso is drawn by the shot. Would you like one shot of eSpresso in your drink or two?
Customer: (giggling nervously) Right. I knew that. Honest. Um, one shot of expresso is enough, i guess. I don't want to be awake the next four nights, right?
Barista: (nodding sagely but rapidly) Right! And a good eSpresso packs a real punch. Steamed milk?
Customer: (tiring of the questions) Yes, please.
Barista: (picking up steam) 1%, 2%, 4%, skimmed or breve?
Customer: (realizing that asking what the heck a "breve" is will be a dangerous move) Skimmed, please.
Barista: (winding up for the knockout punch) Excellent! Tall, Grande, or Ultra Grande?
Customer: (sensing a winning move) Never mind - Could I just have a bottled water?
Barista: (knowing when he's beaten) Oh... er...um... for here or to go?
(Camera fades to black... with sweet & lo)

 THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT COFFEE: REVEALED!

 The secret has been guarded for centuries. Coffee growers,
roasters, wholesalers, retailers, and most of all Baristas have been sworn
to secrecy since the Bean first emerged from Ethiopia (or maybe Yemen,
right...) And it is one of those secrets so sacred that if we tell you,
they may have to kill us. But we have a column to get out and, at the risk
of our very lives and our immortal souls, we refuse to disappoint our
publisher. So here it is. Please, destroy (well, perhaps recycle) this
newspaper column as soon as you have read it. Ready?
 There are only two kinds of coffee in the entire world.
 (The end is near...) But it's true, only two. And, contrary to
popular Oswego urban legend they are NOT our beans and *$'s. They are
Robustas and Arabicas. Only two! Allow us to explain in greater detail
(before "they" get us). Coffee beans are the pit of a cherry from a cherry
tree (surprise!) and there are only two kinds of cherry trees that produce
coffees. Robusta beans are one. They are the smaller of the two and grow
easily at low altitudes in the tropical mountains. They are abundant, they
are prolific, and they are bitter. And they are what most people think of
when they think of coffee. Those canned grounds in the grocery store are
full of robusta beans. The coffee served at your local Kwickie-Mart is
probably robusta beans. Robustas are usually served shockingly hot, cooked
on a burner for unbelievable hours, sometimes percolated (arguuuuh!) and
usually seek to wake you up by kicking you in the stomach and the head
first thing in the morning. Surely a rude awakening; hardly civilized. And
because we know our publisher (bless him!) isn't interested in a weekly
column about robusta beans that have been sitting around in some warehouse
for the past three years after being roasted in two ton batches, we shall
go directly to the real secret of truly great coffee.
 Arabica. The Bean. Grown in high altitudes, thriving only in
tropical mountains, carefully cultivated because of its smoothness and
sweetness as a beverage, constantly agriculturally managed because of its
fragile nature, chock full o'caffeine and hand picked by Vestal Virgins
(well, maybe not... but they are hand picked...) and sold to thoughtful
roasters who roast the coffee on demand (instead of months ahead of time)
and ship it the same day to your local coffee emporium who serve it within
the next 30 days! Arabica. The Bean.
 Harder than their poorer cousin robustas, more fragrant than the
finest French perfume, sweeter than fresh cream, these are the Beans that
the world has come to think of in passionate terms for these many
centuries. Sadly, robustas became the usual cup of 'high test' in the
colonies because the far more expensive Arabicas were all being shipped to
Europe and the Mediterranean for consumption by the aristocracy. But now,
thanks to determined private coffee roasters (and *$'s) baristas from sea
to shining sea are introducing the New World to Arabicas! The Bean.
 Usually, trends have tended to travel from the east to west coasts,
but not so the amazing burst of 'gourmet' Arabica coffees. The Mecca of
U.S. coffee shoppe cities is Seattle, Washington. It didn't start there,
but it spread from there. Twenty years ago there were exactly 5 coffee
shoppes in downtown Seattle serving Arabicas. Last year there were over
300. Glancing around Oswego gives one pause: how many coffee shoppes will
there be in our fair city in twenty years? And gradually but inexorably,
like anything that is as cosmically predestined as great coffee, the
American taste bud is becoming accustomed to a smoother coffee, a sweeter
coffee, a fresher coffee,  not the bitter or medicinal or scalding or
boiling hot coffee of our forbearers, not crawling up from the bowels of a
never-washed percolator like something from the primordial ooze. Americans,
who once drank less than 1/2% of all Arabicas grown in the world, now
account for over 50% of the splendid Bean.
 A currently retired friend of ours once said she began to drink
coffee years ago because "something that tastes that bad simply has to be
good for you". Now she has her own private blend custom roasted and shipped
to her every three weeks. The secret is certainly out! And, come to think
of it, we aren't really the ones who let it out! We are just sharing it
with you. So, perhaps the end is not near. Perhaps this is only the real
beginning of civilization.

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

 The array of coffees available on the market is staggering! Even when you narrow your search for the Perfect Cup of 'Joe' to Arabica Beans, you are still left with literally hundreds of coffees from which to choose. The quest for the best coffee seems mind-boggling until you take a moment and rethink your plan of attack. Is it possible that, like the search for the Holy Grail, the process is more important that the goal? You bet it is! Settle yourself into the following mind set and suddenly it becomes actually fun to experiment with coffee: Coffee is like wine... there is no 'best'... there are oceans of great coffees to swim!
 The easiest plan of attack is to decide just exactly what you are looking for in your mug. Rich? Smooth? Light? Dusky? Creamy? Woody? Aromatic? Zingy? Earthy? Winey? Yoikes! Maybe you don't know! So lets start the experiment with some sort of organization, this week with Location.
 Coffees grow in the tropical area between the Tropic of Capricorn and the Tropic of Cancer (no, not the book, the latitude...). And like Mr. J. Valdez says, the highest grown coffee actually IS the best. Robustas (yuck!) grow under 2000 feet up the mountain. Arabicas (yay!) grow above the 2000 foot mark. Coffee is an amazing tree. It takes on the flavor of the soil it grows in and as a result coffee from one side of the hill can taste totally different from the stuff from the neighboring plantation. All of the variations of the Bean in your local beanery will be the result of the soil and weather of their home plantation.
 You may have heard rumors of the finest coffee being from Jamaica. Jamaican Blue Mountain is, in fact, one of the truly great coffees. It comes from a single plantation and is grown in extremely limited quantity which means (according to the law!) that the greater the demand for it, the greater the price, 'cause there is only so much acreage on the farm! You can pay the $40+ a pound for it, or you can try a different location! How about Hawaii? Kona is another great coffee and is the only one grown in the United States but it, like the Jamaican, has gotten a lot of press lately and as a result its popularity has caused the price to sky rocket. Finally (to put an end to the bogus urban legend) neither Kona or Jamaican Blue have any more caffeine nor are they 'stronger' (whatever that means...) than any other Arabica coffees. Besides, in the $25-$30 range for pure Kona, we think there are still several better locations to explore.
 Central and South America continue to produce wonderful coffees and with their emerging economies they are marketing their Beans vigorously. More coffee comes from Brazil than anywhere in the world, and we in the U.S.A. drink the bulk of it, but that doesn't mean it's the best. Some of it surely is. Excellent and spicy little Brazilian Beans come from the Santos region. Colombian is certainly getting its own share of the market as well, thanks to a vigorous marketing campaign with the man and the mule. Colombian is a fine coffee, well balanced, and nice for everyday use.  Guatemala and Costa Rico head our particular list of superb growing regions, producing hard and highly aromatic Beans that have a great zingy bite and make coffee drinking a real pleasure.
 Other great locations? How about Indonesia? One splendidly brewed cup of Sumatra Mandheling might change your life... or at the very least it will make a fabulous way to start the day. Africa? O.K., here is where we make our true confession. We, your humble baristas, are African coffee drinkers. Our wonderful chocolate Labrador puppy is named Kenya AA (double A) for the exceptional Bean from that great coffee growing country. Tanzania and Zimbabwe and Zambia all grow outstanding Beans and at prices of $10-$14 a pound you can scorn those Jamaican brews in favor of equally exciting tastes from even more exotic locations. And let's not forget the mother lode of coffee: Ethiopia. Coffee came from there, and there is arguably not a better coffee than Ethiopian Yrgacheffe in the world. The only real problem with it is how to pronounce it! (YEAR-guh-chef) Drop by your favorite beanery, ask if they have a good Yrgacheffe and they will fall all over themselves assisting you, the coffee aficionado!
 Want the inside edge on an up and coming great coffee region? We don't play the market, so we don't have any money riding on this, but it is our guess that in the next ten years some of the worlds great coffees will be arriving at your local coffee shoppe from (ready?) Vietnam!
 Like wine, you develop the taste for different coffees. And like wine, there is no one 'best' cup of coffee. And ultimately, like wine, YOU can decide which location attracts your taste buds most! The fun is in the quest. Happy trails!
 

WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS THIS?

 Etiology. Cool word, eh? It's the word for today. (use it in a
sentence at least 5 times and it is yours!) It's a great word for food,
too, since it sounds like the science of eating, except that it's not.
Etiology (Eat-ee-AHL-oh-jee) n. the study of where things come from, their
origins and beginnings, their evolution (the great state of Kansas,
notwithstanding). Or, put simply, it's the study of  "who's bright idea was
this?"
 Who's bright idea was this? We have a favorite little bakery just
around the corner from our coffee shoppe and every time we walk in we are
wonderfully assaulted with the miraculous smells of marvelously fresh baked
breads. And each time we wonder (usually out loud) who came up with the
idea of bread? Dan (our bakery friend) didn't, but he sure has expanded on
the idea splendidly. Who thought of picking grains, husking them, grinding
them, combining them with stuff that makes them rise (I mean, c'mon!), and
with eggs and all the weird things that make bread the miracle it is?
 Who's bright idea was this? Marshmallows. My mother once walked
into a grocery store when marshmallow-in-a-jar first came out and began
reading the ingredients on the label. Finally she asked the clerk if they
had any "real marshmallow" in a jar... The only things she could find were
full of egg whites and sugar and corn starch and such. The clerk looked at
her, thought for a moment and finally asked, "Lady, do you think
marshmallows grow on trees?" She had...
 Who's bright idea was this? Coffee grounds. It is already a leap of
faith to trace  how coffee evolved from Kaldi the goatherd and his goats in
Ethiopia (or Yemen...) to the primary beverage of the entire universe
(remember, Capt. Katheryn Janeway drinks coffee). But like bread (and
marshmallows) it had to undergo some impressive evolutionary steps to
become the divine drink it is now.
 Who's bright idea was this? Someone had to think about eating the
pits of coffee cherries. Then someone had to think about roasting them
(like peanuts!) before eating 'em. Then someone had to think about boiling
the roasted cherry pits to see if they could drink the results (now THERE
is a leap of faith...). Then someone had to think about grinding them up
(like they did with grain? maybe...) and then use boiling water and FINALLY
we get coffee!
 Grinding is one of the most important of the caffeinated
evolutionary steps and is, when you think of it, an amazingly unlikely one.
>From merely mashing the toasted beans between rocks we have now graduated
to 'custom grinding' beans for a particular type of brew. People in our
shoppe are always asking about the 'right grind' for coffee. They have the
little coffee grinders at home and want to be sure to do it correctly.
 First, let's be absolutely and blindingly truthful: grinding your
own coffee fresh each morning (or afternoon or evening) is simply the
nicest thing you can do for your personal Wah, and for your kitchen, and
for your coffee. Your Wah is rejuvenated by the joyous release of the smell
of the freshly ground coffee. Your kitchen is deodorized and the final
traces of last night's garlic pizza disappear. Your first cup of Java is
made from the newly liberated coffee oils and all is right with the world.
So what is the key to the perfect grind?
 Well, there isn't one. There is, however, a rule of thumb that can
help your bean-bashing techniques. Simply put: The longer the water is in
contact with the grounds, the coarser the grind should be. Got it? If you
percolate (sigh... we know many of you do, but we still like you anyway)
then the grind should be quite coarse, almost the consistency of rock salt
(the table top variety... not the stuff you put on your sidewalk).
 French pressing coffee (the method most preferred by your humble
baristas) still needs a fairly coarse grind, but markedly finer than for
perk'ing. Vacuum drip is about a medium grind and automatic drip is right
on the center. Since most people auto-drip, most of the home grinders are
designed to smash your beans this far and no farther.
 If you are looking for finely ground coffee or espresso grind
(nearly a powder) or (yoikes!) Turkish grind (totally powdered!) your home
machines won't work - at least the grinders with the little whirling blades
won't cut it (pardon the pun...) The blades will grind the Bean just so far
and then they just stir the grounds instead of continuing to grind them- To
get Fine, Espresso, or Turkish grind you really need to have a burr grinder
and they are expensive! Better to have your barista at your local coffee
emporium do it for you with a high quality commercial grinder and then you
will have the consistency you are looking for each time you brew.
 Don't be afraid to change your grind to suit your taste! If you
like your coffee a little sharper tasting, grind it a little finer... For
smoother coffee without the edginess, go slightly coarser. Remember that
the longer the grounds are in contact with hot water, the more likely they
will over-brew and begin to release the yucky bitter taste which simply
masks the real coffee flavor, which is the goal of this whole evolutionary
coffee thing, anyway!. Little adjustments will do a lot toward perfecting
your brew. Grind away!

ESPRESSO THYSELF (Part 1)
 There are little but very important times in anyone's life (or at
least there should be) when you just feel that the world is so amazingly
cool that you can barely stand it. Life is better than it usually is
because of something just awesomely neat. It may be a simple thing, it may
be a mind-numbing, life altering experience. These cool things come in all
shapes and sizes.
 As you read this, your humble baristas are on vacation. Actually we
are just leaving on the day this goes to press. Our publisher (bless him!)
needs two (count them: 2, Two, II) columns from us so we can get away and,
frankly all we are interested in is packing and getting the topo maps
organized and the canoes and camping gear sorted and packed. Vacations are
amazingly cool. But so are publishers...
 A couple of years ago, two friends of ours asked if we would be
interested in buying their coffee shoppe. They were doing just dandy, but
it was time to downsize a little (the last of the kids had finally made it
thru college) and we had both been hanging our there for years (really!)
and we said, "Sure!" The sum total extent of our coffee knowledge at that
point was: one of us liked it with cream and one of us liked it with
sugar... Friends are amazingly cool - and at times life altering!
 Owning your own little bitty business can be mind-numbingly cool.
The other day we were watching one of our favorite TV programs on Animal
Planet called "Emergency Vets". It's sort of like E.R. but real, and in a
veterinary medical center. (This is an absolutely true story - honest) We
are watching as a lady brings her puppy to the vet's after an accident, and
what to our wondering eyes should appear, but this lady on TV is actually
wearing one of OUR shirts from OUR little bitty coffee shoppe: "Espresso
Thyself! The Coffee Connection, Oswego N.Y." This is amazingly cool!
 A few months ago, this guy walks into our shoppe and says (no this
is not the beginning of a joke), "Do you think you guys could write enough
about coffee to keep a newspaper column going for, maybe, a couple years?"
We figure that it actually IS a joke, see, but (obviously) it's not. We ask
him exactly what he is looking for in the column, and he smiles and says,
"Coffee stuff... whatever. It's up to you." This is amazingly cool. Trust
us...
 A few weeks ago, another guy walks into the shoppe. (We aren't
making this up, you know...) He asks for a double espresso, strong
("please! Very very strong!") and a glass of hot water. We draw the
espresso and the glass of water and slide it across the counter. The smile
on his face is so warm and so genuine that we are tempted not to charge him
(we do not succumb to the temptation, however...) As the conversation
progresses, as it always does in the right coffee shoppes, we discover that
he is from Ethiopia (the motherland of the Bean) and has lived in Kenya
(the motherlode of the Bean) and traveled and lived all around the finest
coffee growing regions of Africa and, as if that weren't enough, he looks
at our attempt at an espresso, beams and says, "Excellent! That is just
what it should look like!" This is amazingly cool - and amazingly
affirming...
 A few days ago, one of our formerly most regular of regulars and
the founder of our Live Poet's Society group calls us on the phone. He
moved out of the area about six months ago and settled in Maryland. We had
imparted to him as much coffee knowledge as we knew while he was hanging at
the shoppe - he loved making drinks & inventing them & drinking them &
playing with the machines. He used to stick his poetry into mugs and tea
pots and other things that were for sale, or hide it in the strangest
places. Customers actually would return his poetry to us after finding it
in an item after they got it home! Anyway, we digress... He calls and wants
to know (are you ready for this?) how to open his own shoppe in his new
home. Life rarely gets any more amazingly cool than this.
 So wave towards the eastern horizon when you read "Buzz Words" this
week - we are somewhere around the High Peaks area of the Adirondacks
looking for just the right spot to set up camp, light a fire, boil some
water and French press one of the selection of coffees that we always
travel with! Two years ago we were a commercial carpenter and a church
musician and now we own our very own business (we just renewed our lease),
write a column (or two at a time...), meet fantastic people (lots and lots
of them), and get to do coffee stuff for a living. It doesn't get more
amazing than this. Cool beans!
 
 

In this modern world and, we suspect, in all the
worlds gone past, there is not a single thing that is better, more
fulfilling, more enjoyable, more satisfying, more affirming of life itself
than sitting down with friends and talking. Simple, isn't it... Just the
passing of time with people you enjoy being with, whose company you
wouldn't trade for gold, talking about the future, talking about the
present, talking about the past.
 Those who know us well (or those who have gotten to know us
enough!) know that this month is a special little anniversary for us. Ten
years ago this month we set sail (quite literally!) on our well-loved 30'
Catalina sloop ANNA CRUSIS, headed south through the Oswego locks, down the
Oswego Canal with a left turn onto the so-called Barge (really Erie) Canal,
a right down the Hudson and south from Manhattan for a journey that would
take us through three countries, 9 states, two years, five hurricanes, and
uncountable friends and adventures.
 And thru lotsa potsa coffee! Coffee on board a sailboat is like
gasoline in a car. Ya just gotta have it. You need it before anything else
in the morning, you need it when you finish anchoring at night, you need it
to ward off the chill of approaching winter, and you need it when facing
and dodging hurricanes spawning out of the Atlantic towards you -
 That year (1989) we dealt... rather admirably, we think...  with
Gabriel, Hugo, Iris, Jerry, and Karen. There were other storms, of course,
but we tend to think of those as 'our hurricanes' in a rather perverse way.
Our antiquated, dented, fool-proof aluminum stove top drip coffee pot was
put to the test and passed with flying colors. It sailed across the cabin
on numerous exciting jaunts up and down waves that Lake Ontario can only
dream of, got knocked over (full of coffee or at the very least full of
grounds...eeewww!) more times than we care to recall. It actually landed
inside the navigation station during one memorable blow.
 As Hugo came looming over the horizon with his deadly sights set on
Charleston, we were tying up (everything!) in a marina on the northern edge
of the hurricane warning zone. Hugo was coming, there was no doubt, and the
only questions were how hard we would get hit and where the eye would cross
land. Coffee flowed like bottled water at Harborfest, and the four of us
(Bill, Steav, Steav's Dad and our cat Frika) settled in to wait out the
night and the onslaught... with coffee in hand.
 It was 10 years ago today that Hugo was first sighted off Africa
and went from infancy to inferno in 7 days. But we were ultimately spared
the worst of it and continued our journey south until we stopped in a small
tropical paradise of Lucaya on Grand Bahama Island... which is where this
whole narrative is also headed! We made friends there... oceans of  'em and
we sealed those friendships with lots of coffee (and a not insubstantial
amount of rum...)
 Just after opening our wonderful coffee shoppe here two years ago,
we decided to celebrate by flying down to GBI and visiting Lucaya and our
friends one more time. It had been nearly eight years. One of our best
friends in Lucaya, Mary Hoyt, operates a little tiny shoppe where she sells
her handmade crafts, art work by her various sons, Soca music recordings by
her husband, and pierces ears (Steav's) and braids hair (Bill's)! Our
reunion was the best and she asked tons of questions about our new shoppe
(there are no coffee shoppes on GBI... hmmmm... there's an idea...)
 We asked her if she was a coffee drinker and she laughed and said
that everyone she knows drinks coffee by the gallon there! We asked her how
she liked to make it and, with an amazingly puzzled look, she said, "I just
make it, honey... same as everyone does. Put the water in a pan, scoop the
coffee in and boil it till it smells right. Then I pour a little ice water
in so the coffee goes to the bottom and we drink it." Mary had never heard
of a Mr. Coffee maker. Mary had never dealt with a percolator, or a French
press, or a vacuum pot. She made coffee and loved it in the same way her
parents had and their parents before them and so on and so on.
 Which opened our eyes to the fact that there simply isn't a right
or wrong way to brew or enjoy coffee. The way YOU like it is the way YOU
should drink it. Up to that point we had begun to develop a 'purists' view
of how coffee "should be brewed". Yet here we were in paradise (trust us),
spending time with one of the nicest people in the universe (no lie) who
loved her coffee and loved making it the way it had been made, quite
literally, centuries ago in Africa, where this whole coffee thing began.
 Cream? Sugar, Equal? Skimmed? Honey? Iced? Decaffeinated? Flavored?
Mixed with whipped cream? Cocoa? Rum! Raspberry syrup? Half-caff? Perked?
Pressed? Drip? Vacuumed? Auto-dripped? Boiled!
 Have it YOUR way!

"JUST BREW IT"

 It's been a busy week at our shoppe so we enlisted the aid of our
secretarial pool sorting through all our email and compiling a synopsis of
the most burning questions that you have asked about coffee. The task was
daunting and we actually had to recruit some extra staff to finish the
statistical analysis  before our deadline, but tireless efforts pay off.
 Here it is, the question that has been weighing on your assembled
minds for so long (followed, naturally, by the answer...): "What is the
best way of brewing coffee?"
We would like to answer it simply and unequivocally for you but that's not
a great idea for two reasons: 1- the column would be too short; 2- there is
no answer.
 We can, however, come up with some ideas about selecting YOUR best
way of brewing The Bean. Compare it to decanting a fine wine and you get
the idea... Some decant rapidly, some slowly; some use glass decanters,
some wooden, some pewter; some feel the wine is best when properly aerated,
some keep the aeration to a bare minimum. Brewing coffee is similar. It
depends on the taste you are searching for (sorry: for which you are
searching...)(sheesh!)
 First, a quick reminder: the longer The Bean is exposed to the hot
water the coarser the grind should be. Each method of brewing requires some
basic stuff: Clean cold water to start; Clean brewing equipment to brew;
good quality fresh coffee to use; a decent mug to drink. The water should
be clean for obvious reasons. Many wells and most city water systems are ok
but will bring their own flavors to the resulting coffee. Here is the acid
(?) test of water: if it tastes good on its own, you will likely be happy
with the taste of the coffee when it's done - Some water systems are
slightly salinated and that results in bitter coffee - There are times
(especially during the summer) when many city water systems can taste fishy
or seaweedy - eeewww! At our shoppe the water goes thru several different
filters before reaching our brewing system, but in the event that the city
water becomes unpalatable, we have a backup system that can use bottled
water!
 Cold water, got it? Using warm tap water reduces the amount of air
in the water and makes the final taste flatter and often metallic. Let the
tap run for a few seconds until it runs cold and then use that - Do not
(repeat: do NOT) microwave the water. We don't know the physics involved
but we can taste microwaved water at 50 paces and it is baaaaad!
 Percolating: The coffee will probably be stronger and a bit rougher
to the taste. Careful not to perk it too long. From the beginning perk to
the final product should only be a matter of a couple minutes. Perked
coffee is easy to mess up; the boiling rapidly breaks down the coffee
'oils' which hold all the flavor and, frankly, we'll personally pass on
this method. But it is still popular with many folks.
 Pressing: put a good quality, medium grind coffee in the press,
fill with water just off the boil (about 205 degrees... let it sit for
15-20 seconds after boiling) and let it steep for about 3 minutes. Push
down the press part and pour out your coffee. Most folks who really know
their coffee or who really enjoy a rich flavor find that pressing is about
as close as you get to heaven (your humble baristas agree that pressing
rules!) It's nearly flawless, as easy as making instant coffee (!), and the
coffee is divine! There will be a little sediment of grounds in your mug at
the end, but remember that coffee can be eaten! The sediment won't hurt you
a bit and you can rinse the grounds right down the kitchen sink!
 Drip: certainly Mr. Coffee made his millions convincing us that
drip coffee is best. We drip at the shoppe (as do almost all commercial
establishments now) and it is good, no question. Drip coffee uses filters
that trap some of the oils and reduce the flavor somewhat. Using a slightly
finer grind can help a bit, but you run the risk of clogging your filter
basket and having coffee and grounds pouring out everywhere!
 For the best results use a manual drip not an auto drip pot..Pour
the boiling water over the grounds by hand. You have better control over
evenly soaking the grounds and the flavor will be truer and richer.
 Cold brewing is relatively new and our experience with it is
exceptional! Like making Sun Tea but with The Bean, this method uses a
special coffee maker to create a pure, crystal clear, very dark coffee
concentrate that you use like instant coffee! (It is particularly nice for
iced coffee) We'll talk more about this in an upcoming column.
 Americano: OK, we admit this is more for the purist coffee drinker,
but it is also a great method. Draw yourself a good, rich, thick, sweet
espresso (about 1 1/2 oz.) and add about 8 oz. of very hot (200
degrees-ish) to the espresso! Italians think it's a cop-out, but Americans
tend to like it a lot (hence the name!)
 Making the coffee can be a challenge first thing in the morning for
some of us, but the day starts better with a great cup of coffee. With
apologies to Nike, Just Brew It!

French Vanilla Velvet, English Toffee, Irish Creme, Jamaican Rum,
German Chocolate, Linzer Tort, Grand Marnier, Caramel Nut Fudge, Banana
Creme, Bavarian Chocolate Cherry, Pumpkin Spice, Tiramisu, Toasted Praline,
Rainforest Supreme, Dutch Chocolate Mint. Raspberry Butternut Creme (it's
what we are drinking right now!).
 The list goes on and on. We have come a long way from the days when
the coffee choice was simply caffeinated or decaffeinated! While flavored
coffees will never come near to replacing the great taste of a well bred
and well brewed regular coffee, there is a whole world of tastes that are
out there for you to try.
 Some people shudder at the very idea of a 'flavored coffee' but we
believe that deep down inside they wish that they had the raw courage to
try some of the newest tastes on the market. (Why stick with vanilla or
chocolate ice cream when you can get Toffee Heath Bar Crunch? It's the same
with coffee now.) The array is amazing and the flavors are great! But be
sure you are getting flavored coffee and not just coffee with a flavor
added (usually from a sweetened syrup) because, while the syrup thing is
ok, it isn't the same as a well designed flavored coffee.
 Flavored coffees are not gourmet coffees. (not - got it? not!)
Gourmet coffees (we actually don't use the term - we refer to them as
'select' coffees) have to do with the quality of  The Bean, the quality of
the plantation, altitude of the growing fields, hand harvesting, hand
washing, and precise roasting in small batches of the highest quality
beans. You can flavor a truly bad coffee and market it - the grocery stores
are full of them. Flavored coffee (when done right) is a hopefully high
quality coffee with flavor extracts added to the hot beans immediately
after roasting. It is not sweetened. It contains no calories, and it
shouldn't hide the true quality of  The Bean but should just enhance it
with a nice hint of something different.
 And the bottom line is: flavored coffees are fun! Your humble
baristas (that's us, by the way) enjoy a flavored coffee often. Sure we
aren't gonna give up our morning hit of Kenya AA or Sumatra Mandheling or
Ethiopian Yrgacheffe, but coffee is a mood drink and there are times when a
Seville Orange flavor can just hit the spot. Our mood often swings towards
Rainforest Supreme, a brilliant and delicate combination of tropical fruit
and nut extracts on a Colombian Supremo Bean. (Our Roaster is simply a
genius when it comes to flavor profiles).
 In fact, all of our flavored coffees are done with a Colombian
Supremo Bean. Most good coffee houses that offer flavored coffees use a
Colombian. It is the one coffee that Americans universally enjoy. Colombian
isn't the most expensive coffee, it doesn't have the most unique flavor, it
is widely available, and the quality of The Bean is stable all year round.
So it's perfect for using as a flavored coffee base. Well done flavoreds
allow the brisk bright taste of the actual coffee to come out while
enhancing the experience with a very palatable surprise.
 The aroma is to die for (but don't!) Ask any coffee shoppe owner
what the comment most often heard in his or her shoppe is and you will get
the same response: "Oh my, it smells good in here!" One of life's little
joys is grinding a pound of Southern Pecan beans for a customer and
watching the pecans as they slide into the grinder and smelling the pungent
fragrance of the nuts and the extracts as they get milled into fresh
grounds. Or the slight high you feel when brewing a Cinnamon French Roast
and seeing the ground cinnamon sticks releasing a heavenly coffee (with
apologies to  Chock Full of Nuts... but there are no nuts and it isn't all
that heavenly!), or sitting here on a Sunday evening (which is when we
write this) with a piping hot Raspberry Butter Nut Creme to feed the coffee
muse.
 Sometimes a little sugar or a little cream enhances the flavor, but
try this next time you have a flavored coffee: try it straight up (no
sugar-no cream) even if you usually put one or both of these into your mug.
Then decide (after tasting it) what would go well with the flavor. The
'psychological sweetness' of drinking a chocolate flavored coffee might
just lead you to forego those 6 teaspoons of sugar; the smoothness of a
peach (!) flavored coffee could tempt you to leave out the half and half;
and the brightness of a cinnamon flavored coffee may tempt you to drink it
black!
 Or you may have to succumb to the temptation to try something
totally different in your Almond Amaretto flavored coffee. Pass the honey,
please?